Hi there, how are you? It’s been a while since the last time I shared my journey of my marriage life here in my page. I have my me time and space and choose a little time away from gadgets the last month. But everything is well with me and my husband. I have made so much realizations in this journey, indeed, a really worth to take one!
Anyways, in this topic I will be sharing to you the things that you can enjoy doing together with your spouse, the same way as these work with me and my husband. Here are my top 10 in the list with no particular order:
Movie dates. This one is the best weekend activity that we love both of my husband. I grew up with lack of resources to watch and afford good movies in the cinema. Way back then, my boyfriend who is now my husband would tease me saying that I missed half my life of not be able to watch good movies. But I would always argue with him and would tell him, “NO” I have enjoyed so much of my province life. I have climbed coconut trees and enjoy my time in the rice fields. Hahaha, now that I am a wife, I love weekends at home with husband and we truly have time to watch movies together to cope-up those years that I missed half of my life, kidding 😊 Yeah, I really find it great and informative to be able to watch good movies, learn from the story and relate from them as well. I am so much thankful to the family of my husband who shared their Netflix account to us, by this we can maximize the available and accessible movies in Netflix and watch them together. By now, you will surely laugh at me if I will tell you that I am still finishing the series of Twilight—we are still on its sequel “The Breaking Dawn”. Though my husband has already finished the series, he still loves going through it for the nth time with me.
Playing games. What’s your favorite games? Do you prefer board games, or mobile games? My husband is a lover of online mobile games. As of writing he loves playing Mobile Legends, while in my side I really hate it when he has to cancel my call and continue the game so not to be reported and banned as player. Yes, I have encountered being cancelled with my call because he can’t play and talk at the same time. But every after his game he will call back and explain for the nth time that he has to do it during his game. After that we made an agreement that if my calls are really urgent, I have to text first, urgent or a cue that it needs an immediate response and he will be willing to leave his game, but for those that “can wait” messages or calls we can discuss them after the game. What an attention seeker type of game huh? Hehehe, on the other side, I love board games, I can spend time on playing scrabble, snake and ladder is also fun too. I love it when my husband plays together with me, especially those games that we can learn and improve our vocabularies or judgement, those are ok with me.
Cooking. This is one of the things that I am a work in process with, I am not really a good chef or cook. I have only limited lists of good dishes that I know how to cook. Most of them I have to look at the recipe from time to time. But for me, I have improved a lot of my cooking skills now that I am married. Before, my mother prepares our food, from our breakfast to our lunch to our work, she prepared them. Now that I got married, I have to wake-up earlier and prepare our food from breakfast to our “baon” for work. One of the dish that I am confident cooking is pork adobo, it is also easy to prepare and the taste is classy. Well, for me and my husband, we love pork adobo—the Filipino style. 😊 Cooking is also one of the great way to bond with your spouse, as for me and my hubby, I am the one who is a better cook, there’s no choice because my hubby is not so fond of cooking. But I still engaged him in handling simple cooking tasks while I am preparing the whole thing. Like, he can help me slicing or peeling the veggies, help me measuring the ingredients or even the one who will do the taste test. 😊
Food dates. Of course everything is best when done over food who would not love eating while discussing things together. When you watch movies, you would also love munching chips, dipping nachos to your favorite sauce. Food dates does not only mean eating outside, it could be a candle light dinner at home. After you do the cooking, you will add a lighting a scented candle and pick a stalk of rose in your garden to make it more romantic. How I wish we got a roof deck where we can have food dates at the same time star gazing on a romantic dinner dat “roof deck” version. On the other hand, for someone outgoing a dinner outside would also be best–eating in your favorite restaurant with the best food would also be nice.
Karaoke & Dance. Who wouldn’t like to express yourself in singing or in dance the feelings that you like to express when you’re out of words. Between singing and dancing I would love to sing along with good music. However, if the music is undeniably lively and inviting for a dance why not– me and my husband love wiggle wiggle, red red wine and a message to you Rudy. These songs make us dance with the beat though our steps are just out of nowhere and we can only dance by ourselves only. This red red wine is a mixture of romance and upbeat music. We used to play it every weekends, and not missing to do a Cha-cha with a dramatic turn every time we play it at home. Nowadays, if you like love to do the karaoke, you can enjoy doing it over Youtube because the lyrics are always available as long as you have your internet connection on.
Window shopping. This is truly one of the most savvy things to do and enjoy together. Why savvy? Of course this is literally just pleasing your eyes over the nice products and items in the mall but without the intention of buying when. Hahahaha, I laugh out loud while writing to this one as this is what we do most of the times with my hubby. As I told you before, we do our groceries once a month, so after our grocery day and we have extra time to go to the mall, we would but that time for sure would be spent to window shopping. Me and my hubby loves going through housewares section. In the Philippines, one of the biggest shopping center is SM, this is own by the Sy Family. As most of the SM Stores and so gigantic and with huge varieties of choices to choose from for almost all of your needs, you will surely be pleased to window-shop for an hour or more. I can’t lose my taste to go around the houseware section, look over to the plates, beautiful decorative items, colorful bedsheets, and many many more. I really happy that my hubby supports me with this window shopping thing. My hubby would definitely love to look at some sporty shops and everyday carry items, mountaineering gears, moto gears etc. What is the benefit of window shopping? For us this inspire us and give us drive to do our work well. No work, no money to afford those things that we wish to buy at some future time. 🙂
Travelling. One of the best things that I also love is travelling. Travelling would not only mean a travel to an out of town destinations. I have limited travels outside town together with my husband. When we are still boyfriend and girlfriend, we don’t have a lot of chance to travel by ourselves because we are not permitted by my mother. Even I am 28 years old that time, a no is still a no. But with trusted and good friends we are allowed to travel as long as in a group and usually should not be an overnight travel. My family is really protective, maybe because I am the youngest in the family. Also one of the reasons why we have limited travels is that we don’t have our own service/car. We have to commute from one terminal to the other, and by the time my hubby got his motorcycle the pandemic hits so bad that travel restrictions are imposed in most of the places. Most of my friends are taking travelling while they are still young, as the saying goes by “You only lived once (YOLO)” so if possible travel as you can and enjoy every places you go with your loved ones.
Housekeeping. I think this is a daily activity that makes the marriage life not boring. The household chores never run out. Hahahha 🙂 In the morning, from cooking, washing the dishes, watering your plants, cleaning, doing the laundry, keeping everything in order inside your home is an everyday task. This may seem to be ordinary but you can still enjoy it when done with your husband or your family member. Housekeeping is something I look forward every weekend because it’s the only time that I can attend to these things with more time than the weekdays. Weekdays has to be made quick as we need to report to our onsite work. For me, what I like it more because my husband and I help with each other in doing and keeping everything in order at home.
Taking care of pets. For me taking care a pet is our outlet of stress relief. After a month of being married, me and my hubby decided to get a cat. We rehomed a very beautiful and active British short hair kitten. We named it Lucca. That time Lucca was still 3 months, now as of writing she is already 7 months old. How time flies so fast! We are very much happy for having Lucca with us at home. She is like a part of our family. After work, I look forward to meeting my hubby and of course our furbaby. This furbaby is also very sweet that one can really be distressed with. It doesn’t matter what pet would you be taking care, but I think it’s also nice if both of you will love that pet.
Gardening. The pandemic brings a lot of families together, aside from it there are lots of people who became plant lover or what we call here in the Philippines as “plantita or plantito”. Even myself and my mother, we become more of a plant enthusiast. As of now we are growing different plants at home, they are grow in a pots. Lately also, I am starting to grow some exotic plants at home. I have started planting drosera which I got the seeds from my brother in-law. Both me and my husband are very excited for more exotic plants coming soon.
See, aside from these ten things, I know there’s so much more that you can do together with you hubby keeping quality time with your husband, enjoying time and things together. For sure, there wouldn’t be dull and boring times together.
Looking forward to hear from you dear, take care always and enjoy your marriage life.
With so much love from the Philippines, Mira Rollenas-Ducusin ❤
I know its a struggle to balance work and life duties being a wife especially if you have critical responsibilities in your workplace. I like to be hands-on with my responsibilities on being a wife. I like to give the best that I can to be the best wife to my husband. But most of the time, I also have hard time on balancing the responsibilities that I have in my work.
I am an Accountant in the a company that I am employed to. I love dealing numbers, balancing figures, but at the same time I am pressured to constantly deliver the reports on a timely and error-free manner. It has been a big responsibility handling an Accounting Department. It’s so hard to be that hands-on to your family when your 8-hour workday consumes so much of your energy physically and mentally. Accounting jobs truly need your analysis which eat-up your mental energy while being at work. At every transaction, you need to come-up with sound judgment on a day-to-day operations.
I am with my other 2 colleagues doing some Accounting tasks, but my tasks are way much heavier than theirs. Usually after an 8-hour shift, I still have to work extra time to finish everything, though even working extra I am still struggling to finish my tasks 😦 . But so much for this introduction, though I have been really having hard time I still try my best to balance work and life being the best wife I can be.
I am very thankful that my husband and I are working in the same city that he can fetch me after my work and we’ll head home together. The usual work schedule in the Philippines is between 8am to 5pm, 8:30 am to 5:30 am, or 9 am to 6 pm. It varies, there are also some companies on a mid shift schedule, usually those working for international clients. So these are the tips that I can give you to balance your time being a working wife and a hands-on wife. 🙂
Manage your time wisely. Time is gold as an old adage said, it’s a reminder for all of us to use our time productively and efficiently. I know I myself has to improve a lot when it comes to managing my time well. Being at work at 8 am, you will be shocked that it’s already 11 am coming lunch break and your still half way done. Sometimes, I am overwhelmed with the task to do first because of the many tasks around. I realized that managing time comes hand in hand with prioritizing which task has to be done first. I realized that, the first thing to do is to identify the tasks that you have for a day, then organize which of the tasks should be prioritized. Identify which task is urgent and is important, or urgent but is not important, or not urgent but important or else not urgent and not important. This way you will be guided on which tasks should be needed to be done first. How to handle these tasks?
Urgent and Important. These tasks should come first in your priorities, these are those with deadlines, or those tasks which are connected to the next tasks. Urgent and important tasks should be dealt with urgency towards its completion. Some of the examples could be a month-end report which your boss requires you to submit a week after month-end, or it can be a regulatory report that is set to be submitted every 10th of the month and failure to submit would mean paying penalties.
Urgent but is not important. There are also tasked that you may classify as urgent however not important. Examples of which is attending a certain meeting. In a workplace, there are also fun events/meetings that are randomly held. You can be invited to join a Zumba session with your colleagues. It’s up to you if that is something you will categorized as important. That could be urgent as it is only held once a year but your absence won’t hinder the activity to push through. As mentioned, the level of category varies from person-to-person.
Not urgent but important. There are things that you will also classify as not urgent but are important ones. One of which could be attending to your car’s general maintenance check. This is an important maintenance activity for your car but can be scheduled during weekends so not to compromise your work schedule. Important things should not be neglected as well.
Not urgent and not important. This classification is crazy, I wonder why a task is being made to be classified as not urgent and not important. Can you think of something not urgent and is not important tasks? For me, based on personal experience I can tell, but I have only classified those as not urgent and not important only when I realized that it was a wasted effort. What’s your thoughts on this?
Do your best when at work. As a working wife, on weekdays I spend longer hours at work than being home, especially because my work requires me to report in the company’s office. The most important tip to share would be to always do your best when at work. Know the reason why you have to work, typical reason would be our work is the source of our bread and butter, no work, there’s no pay, and no pay means no money, no money means no food for the family. No matter how hard your work is remember that because of your work you’re able to provide for your family and able to support the needs of your loved ones. If you have an 8 to 5 job, do well with the given time to finish your work so that at the end of the workday, you will go home productive and have done your best towards your work. Work by example, put your best forward into your work, remember it is your bread and butter.
Family time is Family time. I always remind myself that if my work will compromise so much of my time that I have to choose between work and my family, I will always choose family. The topmost priority for me is my family, and I worked for a living because of my family. So as much as I can, I want my life after work to be spent for my family. I don’t want to receive calls and text, or being oblige to answer an email after working hours. If we will analyze, we only have 24 hours a day, 12 hours or more is spent in preparation to work, work proper (in an 8 hour work-shift setting), and travelling back & forth, this is only if you have closer distance from your work to your residence, but could be longer if you’re far from your office. Which means that our regular office setting consumes half of our day, the remaining 12 hours is spent in doing household chores and family time (5 hours) and the remaining 7 hours for sleep. How ideal, but because we have a lot of distractions nowadays, we have social media, cellphones, netflix etc. we tend to mismanaged our time. Instead of spending family time with family members we spend our time on not important things which are not urgent, at the end of the day we will realize why have we wasted our time. The worst case, the next day we are doing the cycle of improper time management again and again. If you want to balance your work and your time being a wife, a mother and a family man change your habits, family time matters. After a tiring work day, connect with your family members, know how their days went and communicate with them.
Babe-time with your spouse is a must. Sometimes, it’s challenging to sneak a date with your spouse especially if you have kids to take care. But babe time with your spouse does not only means going out, you can set-up a candle light dinner at home, or watch a good movie together. Spend time with each other talking how the day went, open-up your feelings and thoughts to your spouse. I can’t guarantee you that everyday would be a smooth sailing one because for sure along the way, there will be challenges in your marriage but remember that you have each other. At the end of a long tiring day, the best babetime for me is when we pray together before we go to sleep, this way we will renew each other in prayer that the next day we will both be guided by God in everything that we will do.
Plan the next day ahead. For me a good way to prepare for the day is through planning. It works for me in managing our weekend together especially during pay day. Why pay day? hahaha this is crazy but pay day because this is the time that we usually do and buy our groceries, in a month we only buy our groceries for the whole month once. That’s why pay day excites me, my way of planning is to come-up with a list of groceries to buy, of course we need a list because we are on a tight budgeting. Usually our grocery time is scheduled the closest Saturday after pay-day 🙂 we want to spend our weekends well, so aside from grocery time we also make sure to have quality time together so it’s important to plan within the expected time tables.
Managing work life balance is really a struggle for everyone. As a wife, I wish everyone especially those working wife like me to be able to find happiness and work life balance as well. At first, it will require adjustments, as even myself is still consistently adjusting but soon hopingly everyone will find its balance.
I love my husband so much, the same way as he loves me. He is my source of strength and also my weakness. Disagreements between couples are normal, we misunderstood each other, disagree, quarrel and later on make peace. When he is angry, I think I become a bit paranoid, at this stage, I’m still in the process of handling lover’s quarrel professionally, haha:) Soon I will list down the usual reasons that our husband gets angry. But to tell you, my husband is not a stubborn one, he is very thoughtful, loving and a caring husband. But when his angry side strikes on, I am at my panic mode. So here I am listing down my ways to please my husband, maybe these can also help you to tame your angry hubby. Enjoy reading 🙂
Treat him with calmness and politeness. Boys don’t like so much words, they want peace most of the times. They don’t like loud discussions or even confrontation. So in times of his anger, stay calm as much as you can and treat him politely. Do not make confrontations yet at this time or else the fire may ignite even more. In my case as I’ve said I am a bit paranoid person especially when we have minor disagreements, I usually distance for a while and then assess when everything seems better, that’s the time I talk gently to my husband.
Discuss your concerns privately. The degree of anger will vary on a case to case basis. It is ideal that the the cause of the anger be known and be resolved immediately. Boys don’t like confrontation, they like to be given a long time of silence when they are angry then later on once they’re good, they will talk to you like nothing happens. But as I said, the degree of anger varies. When you both acknowledged the cause of the anger, assess who made the mistake and learn to ask for forgiveness. My husband want a space for himself to reflect and come-up with sound judgment during a fight, but he also appreciate to sit down and settle our concerns privately. Avoid postings rants on social media, if you have problem with your spouse try to resolve the problem together. Sometimes a discussion doesn’t need to be long and loud, it can be done in a gentle way with respect and love. Most of the times, I start asking how can I make you feel better, then we will go on with the concerns that made him angry.
Cook his favorite dish. This tip is connected to the above, sometimes a discussion is better over food. So, try to cook his favorite dish and serve it to him. First, know his favorite food so that you can please him with the right food to serve. As a saying goes, “A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”. My husband is a lover of pasta and coffee, so after dealing and winning with an argument (of course I should win, not always but most of the time) kidding, I try to win his heart again. Serving him delicious and his favorite food will ease his mood and make him feel better. I am not really a good cook, I am a work in process chef, but I always try to make effort when my husband is angry, I like to make moves “suyo” first and that magical smile from his face will lighten-up again our mood.
Be sweeter and expressive. Not all people are expressive, showy and sweet to their spouse. I think the most important thing here in the first place is to know your husband’s love language. If his love language is receiving gifts, try to please him by giving little gifts that you know will make him feel better. If his love language is receiving an act of service, try to offer him a massage. If his love language is time, try to invite him over a movie night or dates, or play with him together over Mobile Legends or Clash of Clans (I don’t know if this works with your hubby, but at least you’ve tried). If his love language is touch, you should know what to do to make him feel much better 🙂 hahaha.
Reconcile and make peace with each other. This is in relation to tip number 2. After a discussion, reconcile and fill the gaps between you and your spouse. If the cause of the anger is heavy and significant, understand that making peace with each other may take time. You have to ask for forgiveness and be sincere with your actions to correct your wrongdoings. As a saying goes like this, forgive and forget, but remember it is not easy to forgive and just forget when the cause is significant, sometimes time just heal everything, but it doesn’t work for everyone. I still believe in trying to do your best to reconcile with your husband, make peace with him and be sincere with your apology.
My journey to being a wife is amazing, me and my husband have arguments from time to time, these are inevitable but we make efforts to solve them. Because if the two of you love each other, no challenge can move you, after a fight you will end up laughing at each other on that stupid nonsense thing. At the end of the day remember that your husband is your other half, he is your ally and your partner in crime. Whatever it is that you are going through right now, you are not alone, this too shall pass.
Wishing and praying for a strong, binded with love and unity to you and your spouse!
P.S. How about you how do you handle your hubby when he is angry? I wish I have given you good reads for you to also reflect over in handling such circumstances. If you have any topics that you want me to right and share with, please let me know. I am enjoying writing and sharing my random thoughts here in my page. Let’s keep in touch, lovelots!