|7/26/2021 Monday, 6:08 pm Philippine Time|

Hi there. I hope all is well with you.
It’s been raining for more than a week now. I am very much saddened with lots of places being flooded and washed-out due to the massive rainfall these days.
Stay safe and healthy always.

Going back to our topic, how to handle pre-wedding jitters? But before that first, let’s define wedding jitters. Is it normal? How can you tell that you are already having these feeling?

When planning for a wedding, there are lots of things that needed to be prepared. The wedding venue, the sponsors, guests, reception, souvenirs etc. And these can truly consumed so much of our energy both physical and mental. Pre-wedding jitters or also called as “cold feet” is a term characterized by a feeling of uncertainty around moving forward with your wedding. And yes it’s totally normal to feel this way, especially when you are of mixed excited and anxious on the coming of your wedding. I, myself is not excused to feel this, being hands-on on our wedding preparations and still thinking of the year-end work that I have to deliver, it really made me crazy. Pre-wedding jitters are normal, and I think my friends around me are the ones who actually told me that I’m having these pre-wedding jitters thing while my wedding is nearly coming. So here sharing to you my experience and how I deal with them.

The usual signs that I have encountered during these stage of having these pre-wedding jitters are as follows:
1. Overthinking about the things needed to be prepared for the wedding. I can say that planning your wedding ahead is really a factor to worry less and prepare more. Me and my fiancé, had been planning and preparing everything our wedding for 3 months. The first month of our preparation, we can say that we are doing really good. We have our excel template on the side which we update from time to time. That served as our checklist to things we need to buy and we need to have. We have the timeline, and the planning made us felt complacent that we can handle everything within three months. Everything has been manageable and we don’t have to hire for a wedding coordinator to prepare everything for us, we try to do it hands-on. Fast forward, I think 2 weeks left before our wedding, the feeling changes, we both started to feel unprepared, there are things that we don’t expect to happen and we really are not so prepared for those. We started to overthink, what if this will happen, what if the guests are not coming, etc. We are overthinking so much on things that can be simplified instead of being complicated. Suggest if you can plan ahead and settle everything ahead, then it will be better to avoid cramming that will lead to overthinking and stress.

2. You are reactive to your partner and easily to get annoyed on things. This is what I really hate the pre-wedding journey. That you get annoyed to your partner and be reactive especially on things that you don’t agree with. For 8 years++ that me and my fiancé have before settling down, we only have few times that we fight or disagree with each other. But during our pre-wedding preparations, we really have several times that we argue on things and don’t agree with them. My fiancé, who is now my hubby in due fairness cooperates a lot in the planning and I appreciate his patience when I’m in my moody side. He remains calm and understanding, but because he also actively suggest his ideas which sometimes I don’t agree, I get annoyed and react to him badly. I don’t really understand why I’m so reactive those times. But at the end of the day, I thank God for reminding me that the reason we are coming-up with our wedding is because I love my fiancé and the planning stage should not break us but should strengthen us together.

3. You are a cry-baby. This may sound so crazy and funny, but believe me it’s one. I feel like, oh what the heck, why that made me cry. I’m like a child that once I argue and I feel that I don’t get support, I cry. I think it’s because you’re getting very emotional, your wedding is coming and you are still thinking a lot of things, last resort would be to be a cry-baby. I think, there’s nothing wrong in crying. It’s OK to cry. It may even be beneficial to you. If you feel the need to cry, don’t hold back your tears as tears are a normal and it’s one of the healthy ways to express your emotion, thus, you have to let it out. Just please remember not to cry so much on the day before your wedding, you might have your eyebags coming out.

4. You are becoming perfectionist. Of course you won’t like any mess to happen in your wedding, thus, you would want everything to be perfect as possible. It’s a feeling like you are more concerned of what other people will say when it’s not like this, or like that, what if they will not like the food, what if the bridesmaid will not like their dress, the souvenirs should be useful or else the guest won’t take them etc. These are the things that will stress you more, instead of sticking to what has been planned you will always think the other way. Remember that you cannot please everyone, so just be who you are, the wedding should be more of what you and your partner would love how it will look like, and not of how others will think about it. It is supposed to be your day, and not their day.

5. You’re feeling nervous as your big day is coming. I think this is the most usual feeling especially for a woman. For me it’s a dream come true to be married with the man of your dreams but at the same time, it will really make you nervous to finally tie the knot and bid farewell from single life. Thinking that in the married life milestone you have to consider your spouse, you have to adjust from the usual things that you are used to then now it’s going to be of compromise and sacrifice. You are thinking what’s ahead for the both of you, it is going to work for you? Will it be worth it, or will it be for a long-lasting love.

How to handle pre-wedding jitters or cold feet?
Pre-wedding jitters are like uninvited guests at your wedding, these feelings will just come to you and you may can’t believe these are happening to you already. later on you will realize you’re hit by these. So it’s important that you know how to handle once you will feel the same way.

1. Think positively. Because there are things that we’re perfectly planned but won’t go as is, in whatever circumstances, think positively that everything will be ok. You are not supposed to stress yourself. Remember that you are about to celebrate your big day–that is your wedding day. Handle everything with positive thoughts and the good results will follow.

2. Listen to beautiful music and relax. Part of your positive spirit is your engagement to beautiful music and relaxing vibes. Listen to your favorite songs for good vibes and happy thoughts. It is very important to relax your mind, free-up toxicity and negativities.

3. Eat healthy, exercise and take some sleep. Healthy diet, exercise and good sleep are key to help yourself in good shape and camera ready to your wedding day pictorial. Aside from that, it is very important to stay healthy by taking healthy food, regular exercise and better sleep. According to National Sleep Foundation, guidelines advise that healthy adults need between 7 and 9 hours of sleep per night. With no doubt, these three are necessary to keep yourself sane and capable to handle the symptoms brought by pre-wedding jitters.

4. Talk with your partner and plan together. Communication is always necessary for both the bride and the groom in planning their wedding. When you are hands-on in coming-up the details of your wedding up to purchasing, contacting guests, and a lot more, then it will be really crazy. It’s going to be your initial test on how your relationship with each other is. Your patience must be tested, your ego, and your love for each other. I also experience this, where most of the time you have to consult and open up the things and details you want to work for your wedding. Communicate and discuss the things with each other as you plan together. The planning stage requires teamwork. Even if you will be hiring a wedding planner, you will still have to discuss with your partner your preferences and choices. It’s going to be exciting, I know you can make it. 🙂

5. Consult and ask for help from others. Sometimes, there are factors that will require the consultation of expert or more experienced people, then if you feel that you need one go on. Remember that it’s ok to ask for help. During our wedding planning, I remember how hesitant my fiancé is to ask for help to his family. Not financial help, but those legwork– picking up the flowers, contacting a supplier, booking a car rental etc. But when we tried opening to them that we still need help on other items, they were very grateful to help us and even sponsored and treated us on some of our expenses. Well, as I told you, don’t stress yourself, there are lots of people there who are open arms in helping.

I hope you have learned from me through these experiences and thoughts that I have. I know it’s now going to be that easy, but I know you can make it better. Congratulations on your coming wedding!

Lovelots and cheers,
Mira Rollenas-Ducusin